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On being yourself

It seems like today the world is scrambling frantically to survive. Countries, monies, systems in general are upsidedown. That goes for people too. Just look around anywhere and there are more lies that exist today about what is going on than probably any other times in history. As one small person, what can you do? I think your choices are small but that doesn’t mean you should forget about who you are in the big picture.
I was born an artist, from a creative and survivalist family of movers and shakers. Well, kind of. They survived a hell of a lot and tomorrow will be l23 years ago my mom was born. One good thing I realize is that even though her life was extremely difficult she accomplished a lot and left an amazing legacy. Too bad my children never knew any of it but I take a lot of responsibility on that one. I was young and stupid and asleep at the wheel in that territory. I was only trying to survive myself. For her time, she lucked out and died at 65, not having seen any of her kids expire before her.
What this has to do with being yourself is that I’ve learned you really can’t change who you are. You can modify it, you can adapt it to the rules of society so that often means what shape you are in. Physical, mental and emotional states are all reflections of how you are doing. I learned something yesterday and even though I’ve learned it over and over and over again, I still manage to plod on and it often still escapes me. I was born with a mind and body that followed my heritage, my lineage, my general attitude.

I always drew since childhood, pencil in hand and I’ve tried to change who I am through every stage of life. It doesn’t work and it never worked to try to change. The bottom line for me is that I remember mom saying of all her 12 children, I always woke up happy and smiling. The world always looked rosy to me. Every day was a new world with fun things to look forward to. I think of her and respect what she said. I am finally respecting who I am. I have always struggled to be like everybody else and it has never worked. So hopefully as I get older, I will realize that there is a lot of worth of what mom said about me….in one simple sentence.
I am learning the difference between trying to be like everybody and fit in, or trying to follow my own unique path. Looking around the insanity of behaviors I see around me, my sensible side says I don’t give a damn what they are doing, I’m staying on my path. So I’m playing with simple art, fun and cheerful stuff. I like it and believe enough in myself to just offer it up. Here you go world, it is what it is.

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